I honestly hate weekends...always have, probably always will unless a miracle from GOD happens to me & for ME...the only good thing I can say about weekends is sleeping in...at times I want to sleep & never wake up again, to never face another clique, asshole or subhuman lowlife again...or to see couples, families, groups of people having a better time than me...all makes me so fucking sick & at the end of my rope, then I often feel like...I am so sick of these selfish fuckheads hogging the lines in the shopping malls, supermarkets: buying like 2 full carts of groceries, enough to make me wanna puke all over them & they then say there is poverty in Toronto, but I often wonder...well the poverty is being caused by all the subhuman losers who come from other countries...who take our jobs, steal our jobs & leave us who were born here without really much of an opportunity for growth at all, unless these fuckheads are given too much money by their parents for their education, etc...I am sick of every place I go to being far too crowded, especially on the fucking weekends!!!
I feel weekends were & are always a curse & how I can't get a moment's peace anywhere...even the fucking churches I've tried so far have been rude to me: not accepting me cause I am a proud lesbian, not accepting me because I have NO real biological family to think of who really gives a shit about me, for not having a car, house, a great career, kids, etc...on the other hand, I hope to find a decent church who will accept me & where I can create some positive connections...by not doing ALL the work of course...even though I am willing to put my 50% into things, I am NOT going to play for the whole team again, no way!!
It's pretty sad that weekends & these fucking crowds take over in society & I find there are just too many weekends & too many holidays in life & in a year...I am sick of holidays, long weekends & anything that brings happy close knit families & losers together, when I am always struggling to fit in, to find a true friend, to find myself, but I feel totally alone, since the people I knew (I'm glad I dumped most of them, since they suck & are total losers, who I can't relate at all to, since they can't offer any conversation whatsoever...LOSERS!)...& often know today just don't relate to me: my tastes in music, my so called hobbies...I wish I had better hobbies, but the fact I am not into politics, family life or religion, I am condemned for it, though it seems & am sick of the conformity that society expects me to live up to...then forget it, I can't say it enough that I am not a fucking conformist...so deal with it!
I wish they had weekends like once a month & that holidays like xmas were not advertised at all...I just then, may feel some validation & some peace in my life...I hate these goody goody two shoes born again christians too, who think their shit don't stink & who are so wrapped up in the fucking bible that I want to set it on fire over their fucking heads of shit!!! I hate these hypocrites & their selfish, rigid, judgemental ways...I've rarely met a christian that I actually liked...only like maybe a handful in my whole life who were ever good to me, but it never lasts of course, since people lose touch or simply become fuckheads....
I wish MY weekends were filled with true sisterly & sometimes maybe, brotherly love, fun, friendships, some retreats once in a while, positive memories to feel good about, adventure, affection, good things, instead of this fucking endless loneliness & pain that has been with me since childhood...it's like weekends rarely are good for me & I am always happy to see them end!
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